she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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