you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
