Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
