I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
