I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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