i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
