I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
