i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
