Please, let me fuck your mom
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
