Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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