You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
