you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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