Dual....:-)
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
