No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Vodka?
Forever.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
