white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
third nipple confirmed
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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