it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
