You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
