Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
