i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
