Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
