You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Enjoy the penises
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
