he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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