So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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