Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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