dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
