why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
