drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
