Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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