also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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