whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
