one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
