God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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