So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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