How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
