Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
