Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
