I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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