he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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