I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
