She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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