Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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