I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
