I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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