the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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