Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
