I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
