that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i now understand why vodka
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