i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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