do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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