That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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